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How to find the gumption to say no.

We are in the first month of a new decade and one of my biggest resolutions is to say no. I have been one who often says yes to everything because I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings. I try to do it all by myself. I always put myself last and I have paid for this with stress, anxiety, and migraines.

Well, because of this, my work suffers, my family life suffers, and my social life suffers. You have all heard the phrase, "you can't pour from an empty cup" well it is so true. I have been known to say yes to everything and am resolving to say no to more things this decade!

I am so proud to say that I have already implemented this new habit several times this year, and the more I do it the easier it gets! The first time I responded to a text with, "sorry, I'm not able to do that" it felt quite liberating. Then, this week my husband asked me if I wanted to have company this weekend. Now, normally I would say yes because I love hosting and entertaining. But, the past few weeks have been extremely stressful and busy. With the holidays, then girl scout cookie season, dance, engagement season, booking season, and then my grandmother passed away. We just got back from the unexpected trip to Texas and I just couldn't wrap my head around having guests this weekend. Normally, I would have still said yes and been exhausted after another busy weekend, but this time was different. I recalled my resolution to myself and decided to suggest we reschedule for another weekend.

Then today, I stepped down from a commitment that I have been dreading. I was part of a group that required some time, that I feel I just don't have to give right now. It is a decision I have been contemplating for a while. Well, today I found the gumption to send a letter of resignation. To my surprise it was received well and it was easier to push the send button than I thought!

Sometimes it takes us living 40 years before we realize that it is ok to say no. It is ok to turn things down. It is ok to postpone plans and events until a later date. And, the more you turn things down, the easier it gets. So, the next time you are feeling overwhelmed by the commitments you have made, think about saying no. I am learning that just saying that 2 letter word is far less stressful than saying yes and then dealing with the obligations.

So, as I lay here typing up this blog, remember to say yes to yourself, to self care, to your family and say no to things that aren't important to you. Doing this will save you agony and stress! Get the gumption to say NO!

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